Well hi there! My name’s Todd. And welcome to my first GOAT post! I’m so excited to leave my mark on the annals of our herstory. (That’s two Ns, reader. Annals. Knowing me though, I’m sure we’ll be discussing the one N version soon enough.)
A few things about me:
- I’m legally a giant. I’m 6’7” and my house may or may not be on top of a beanstalk.
- I’m domestically partnered to a tiny man named Rob. (He’s also my co-host on Down In Front.)
- Up until April, I had been writing Joan Rivers’ jokes on Fashion Police. Joan and the network think it’s 1957 and that people should be happy to make $5 a day writing a billion jokes for an old lady, so the writing staff was forced to go on strike for fair pay and benefits.
And now here we are. In case you’re not famils, going on strike is pretty much quitting your job. And what does one do when they’re unemployed?
THEY WATCH MORE TELEVISION.
So, I guess you could say I’ll be a TV correspondent for GOAT. As well as a film correspondent. And a cupcake correspondent.
See, when I was a kid, I wanted to be three things. I wanted my own cake baking show on PBS. I wanted to sell women’s high fashion. And I wanted to be a comedian. In that order.
I love desserts. I love fashion. And I love entertainment.
You can imagine my excitement when I woke up this morning and discovered THIS picture had hit the internet.
I like to think that I’m on the pulse of upcoming productions in Hollywood. I check IMDB frequently and watch trailers on the daily. But I had no idea this film was being made! A gay cult actress making a future gay cult classic about a gay cult icon?! How did that sneak by?!
I cannot wait for this movie. From what I’ve uncovered today, they are letting it ALL happen in this Lifetime Original™. Murder, drugs, rehab, enough sun bathing to tan the Russian navy. House of Versace is going to deliver, gang. Start stretching now because you are going to GAG.
By the way, how good does Gina look? You KNOW Donatella thinks that’s what she really looks like in her head. I can hear her now, “Eees like looking in mirror. *smoke smoke smoke*”
I’m curious to see if they’ll make her up to have Donatella’s beef jerky arms and her rotisserie chicken abs or if they’ll just casually ignore that obvious detail. October 5th can’t come soon enough.