Lest We Forget: Goldust

Goldust-1Growing up, WWF Wrestling was my everything.  (**Sup, Shawn Michaels? Love you, boo.**) Butch queens serving BODY while giving DRAMA in flashy leotards? What’s not to love? Epic battles of good vs. evil prefaced by flashy proclamations of greatness and panache….truth be told it’s cartoonish, hyper-masculine, homoerotic arena role play probably went a long way in shaping my own varied gender identity and performance style as an artist and an adult.

Recently, I’ve been catching up with the world of professional wrestling just to see if it’s still as gay as it once was.  ————-Yes.————- It is.—————– This got me thinking of one of my favorites from back in the day.  A personal idol, I guess you could say….. Lately, I’ve been reminiscing over…….

GOLDUST!

goldust

Goldust, aka Dustin Rhodes, is part of a family wrestling legacy (his father is the legendary Dusty Rhodes.) He still makes appearances today from time to time, but as Dustin in real life has changed, the character of Goldust has changed too.  You see, nowadays, due to an accidental electrocution in the ring (**Oooh, bitch**) Goldust’s gimmick is all about his turrets-like neurological affliction which forces him to grunt and yell uncontrollably. That’s cool and all, but when I was a kid, Goldust’s show was all about being GAY GAY GAY!

Goldust and Marlena P-336

Obsessed with Hollywood and a total dick pig (**naturally**), Goldust was known as “The Bizarre One.” Designed to look like an Academy Award statue, and equipped with a “starlet blonde” wig, Goldust would play head games with his opponents by blowing kisses, or sending them love notes. When he wasn’t caring for his luxurious lace front, or kiki-ing with his best gal pal Marlena (sort of a Sunset Strip wash up as a recall her), Goldust would rub himself down and quiver his lips like he just took a big whiff of poppers for the very first time.

Oh, Goldust… I know you were just a character dreamed up by Vince McMahon to capitalize on the latent homosexual desires/ outright homophobic tendencies of the WWF’s fan base, but I’ll always remember you fondly none the less.  I’ll always remember you as my favorite schizophrenic, cross-dressing, “pervert” bad guy with a serious crush on Razor Ramon. We share these things in common, Goldie.  I salute you, and I’ll never forget the good times…..

Say something gay...

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