If You Build It, I Will…

…WATCH!

 Oh hey, guys! Whatcha watching? Me? I’m watching THE COUSINS:

cousins together

Meet Anthony and John. Two cousins from New Jersey that are making over kitchens and my DVR.

cousins-on-call

 Normally, on any given day, I watch a good five hours of Food Network until Rob gets home. Then it’s dinner, our primetime shows, and then two or three more hours of Food Network while Rob plays video games. Married life is GLAMOUR.

But recently, I discovered HGTV. Where have I been?! I love a good remodel show. I’ve been following that Lisa Rinna-lipped business lady Jeff Lewis since day one. But I had NO idea that men like this existed!

1016176_453758724721716_1141136139_n

 I mean, they’re so nice! They’re Ellen’s go-to dream builders. And Kathie Lee and Hoda love to fling their wine-soaked senior bits at them on live television. They have the daytime chat circuit seal of approval!

Look at them.

cousins standing

 LOOK AT THEM!

cousins shirtless

 Look at John’s boyish little face.

cousin cute

 And Anthony? He looks like a more attractive version of George Clooney. You didn’t even know George Clooney could get more attractive!

Anthony Carrino and John Colaneri of HGTV's Kitchen Cousins.

 And he has asymmetrical art fantasy tattoos. He has a wrist phoenix. A phoenix! That means he has a past. And who doesn’t love a mysterious man with a past?

cousin tat

 And best of all, they love us. The homo homies. (I’m not 100% sure either of them are straight. I’m just assuming. There’s no wiki for them yet and I’m too lazy to Google past two pages.)

cousins glaad

 Their new show Cousins Undercover starts in October, but until then there are full episodes of their first show Kitchen Cousins on YouTube! Catch up on all of their glory and YOU’RE WELCOME.

 

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