Heavenly Names: Shasta Darlington


ShastoColaCNN/HSN gets sassy points for having Shasta Darlington on the payroll. My jaw dropped when I heard her name the first time. It’s so ghetto soda fab and I just feel like her parents were drinking some shasta cola during a munchies phase after smoking some potent shit when they named her! I know the commercial above is trying to position Shasta as some sophisticated piece, but the sad truth is Shasta was a 99¢ ho on the soda ho stroll. Actually, she ended up a 25¢ ho since you could buy a 4 pack for 99¢.

Anyways, It’s all about the news hosts  saying  “thank you  Shasta” or “back to you Shasta.” They don’t really say her last name because they don’t need to; there’s no other Shasta in the news world.  I can’t help hearing, “thank you Shasta (cola (in a whispery voice))” and “back to you Shasta (cola(in a whispery voice))” when someone says her name. Yes, she’s brilliant, but I am a fan just because I love her name.

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