Boycott Of The Day: Barilla!

Barilla1

As if we needed another reason to avoid pasta, the chairman of Barilla pasta, the world’s leading pasta manufacturer, said in a radio interview that he “would never do (a commercial) with a homosexual family, not for lack of respect, but because we don’t agree with them.”

First of all, homosexuality isn’t an opinion, sir, it’s a fact. It’s not something you can agree or disagree with, like which version of Madonna you like best (Ray of Light, duh.) It’s real, like the earth being round or Lindsay being an opportunity-wrecker. Those things are constants.

Not that I’m surprised. Italians imprisoned Galileo in the 1600s for discovering that our solar system was heliocentric and they didn’t repeal that ruling UNTIL 1992!@#$%^&^%$#@! So, maybe in 400 years you’ll AGREE???

Galileo-Galilei-z3

Second, YOU MAKE NOODLES. You’re not curing cancer. Maybe don’t have an opinion about anything political and just sell your fancy carbs. People call you the Pasta Baron and your name is Guido. Come on. You LEGALLY can’t take anyone named Guido seriously. Seriously. Look it up. And while you’re at it, grab some VO5 and tame that mane. Gross.

guido

You also said “If gays like our pasta and our advertising, they’ll eat our pasta, if they don’t like it then they will not eat it and they will eat another brand.” Okay, so let’s take him up on his offer, shall we? Let’s buy another brand. In fact, we should buy another brand and mail it to his office wrapped in rainbow ribbon. Not that we’ve touched a complex carb in the past five years, but if we do, from now on it’s De Cecco or it’s nothing. What an idiot.

dececco

I can’t believe we’re still talking about this. I mean, I can believe it, because there are A LOT of stupid people out there, but being gay is no different from being black or being tall and it’s nothing that’s going to go away or be changed. And we don’t WANT to change it. Because it’s pretty awesome.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go eat some carrots and Google more pictures of the delicious pasta dishes that I can’t eat and cry myself into a hunger-nap.

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