Hallmark Is My Cousin Jeff: AKA Afraid To Say Gay

2013-11-02T003249Z_1_CBRE9A101JC00_RTROPTP_2_USA-HALLMARK-GAYHey gang. Have you seen this? It’s one of Hallmark’s 2013 limited edition ornaments. What’s the first thing you notice about it? I mean, besides the gorgeous detail and fun micro-knit. Maybe it’s the fact that they CHANGED THE LYRICS OF ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS SONGS OF ALL TIME?!?!

Well, we noticed it, as did tons of other ornament watch groups, and the heat has definitely been put on Hallmark. In a statement released by the cunty card store, Hallmark said “We never intend to offend or make political statements with our products, and in hindsight we realize we shouldn’t have changed the lyrics on the ornament. The trend of wearing festively decorated Christmas sweaters to parties is all about fun, and this ornament is intended to play into that, so the planning team decided to say what we meant: ‘fun.’ That’s the spirit we intended and the spirit in which we hope ornament buyers will take it.”

Hallmark said that when the lyrics to “Deck the Halls” were converted from Gaelic to English in the 1800s, the word gay meant festive or merry.

Hey gurl Hallmark gurl, WE KNOW WHAT GAY MEANT. And everyone knows that song. I’m sure your intentions were good, but would you have changed the lyric if it said “straight?” (Btw we know it never would’ve said straight. We’re not dummies.)

The ornament has since been taken off the market, so it only exists now in lore and in the dad from American Beauty’s china cabinet (think about it.)

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have gay apparel to don.

Say something gay...

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