Robin Roberts Publicly Comes Out on Facebook

389220_114462125356686_12446040_nGood Morning America’s Robin Roberts came out as a lesbian! HUZZAH!!!!

The GMA anchor posted the following message about her recent battle with cancer, along with this photo, to her Facebook Page today:

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Flashback 12/29/12….Hard to believe this was 1 year ago today..when I reached a critical milestone of 100 days post transplant…and KJ was finally allowed to come back home.

Reading this comforts me and I hope the same for you: “If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”

At this moment I am at peace and filled with joy and gratitude.

I am grateful to God, my doctors and nurses for my restored good health.

I am grateful for my sister, Sally-Ann, for being my donor and giving me the gift of life.

I am grateful for my entire family, my long time girlfriend, Amber, and friends as we prepare to celebrate a glorious new year together.

I am grateful for the many prayers and well wishes for my recovery. I return every one of them to you 100 fold.

On this last Sunday of 2013 I encourage you to reflect on what you are grateful for too.

Wishing you a Healthy and Happy New Year.

Peace, love, and blessings to all..XO

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You GO, Robin Roberts!

#bLEZsed

Who Knew? — Boston Is The Birthplace Of The ‘Pussy Palace’

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Dear  readers,

I’ve missed you so! There’s no excuse for my absence; well I’ve been tied down in my office (AND NOT IN THE SEXY WAY)! Side note: Sexy times is the only acceptable excuse for EVERYTHING… So to the post at hand. Everyone has something that soothes their spirit when the world is actin’ all crazy, you know that person or thing that helps keep you grounded and calm? For some people that’s ice cream or or sailing or a significant other, but for me, it’s shows about murder! I’m obsessed with the Investigation Discovery (ID) channel and all the true crime shows they are constantly pimping. Me and ID are like babies and pacifiers to quote some famous poet or other.

One night as the channel was on (cause it’s like my CNN and always in the background) I hear the term ‘Boston Marriage‘. I immediately looked at the screen with confusion to understand this term;I currently live in Boston and you know how it is when you hear the name of the place you live coming out of a tv. In short, the story was about one chick murdering another chick who was her lovah because she changed her mind about being in a Boston Marriage. Apparently, a BM was a fancy term dating back to the 1800’s for women living together (living together included sharing expenses and other stuff). Yes, no one really knows what was going on behind close doors but it seems like everyone was okay imagining lady parts bumping into each other.

Who woulda thunk that Boston was such a hotbed of gayness that people dreamed of coming here to live botherfree? Or that gayness in Boston inspired an entire term or a play? Also, the term Boston Marriage also inspired the term ‘Wellesley Marriage‘; I tell you, olde time Lesbians wanted to make sure everyone knew where the best, most accessible tail in the country was–Massachusetts! Something learned dear readers. XO

Image via The Frisky

Lest We Forget: Luscious Jackson

Luscious Jackson Portrait SessionI am twenty-nine years old. According to Icona Pop, this means that I am in fact a nineties chick. (**Late nineties, thank you very much…**)  As a tween with no strong gay male role model to look to during the era, I totally lezzed out…. hardcore.  I begged for Lilith Fair tickets (never got ’em), I parted my mushroom cut in the middle and colored it with a stunning “sun in”/food dye combo, I wore a XXL Charlie’s Angels ringer tee nearly every day, and I was super into witchcraft (**I bind you Nancy…. blah, blah, blah**).

All that being said, it’s a wonder that I forgot about Luscious Jackson!

This grrrl group of Beastie Boys portages had a serious moment at the latter end of the decade, releasing four leztacular albums between 1993 and 2000. “Here,” “Naked Eye,” and “Ladyfingers,” were kinda huge hits, remember? (**Fuck! Ladyfingers! That’s right!**) Suddenly, Melissa and K.D. had competition…. competition which was actually cool and culturally relevant.

imagesWell, my fellow alt rock children, rejoice! Luscious Jackson is back after a fourteen year hiatus!  (**HUZZAH!**)  They may have babies and life partners this time around, but the women still know how to turn out a track.  Their new album is called MAGIC HOUR.  Check out the just released video for the brand new single “Show Us What You Got” below.  We’ve missed you Luscious Jackson.  You’re always welcome here.

Young queens, more Luscious Jackson after the jump Continue reading

A Warm Welcome to Jasmine Jordan (Maybe)

michael-jordan-daughter-9It’s being reported that basketball legend Michael Jordan’s 20 year old daughter, Jasmine Jordan, may or may not have come out of the closet. The internet has been buzzing with gay rumors since Jasmine posted a photo of herself embracing a Syracuse University women’s basketball player named Carmen to Instagram on September 4th.

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Jasmine had this to say, “MTO (Media Take Out) has struck again! Lol but just like the last time, I’m chillin and not bothered. Negativity go to the left and take a seat. No time for that! Everyone have an amazing day!” And, ”Until love, trust, honesty, repost, loyalty, commitment, genuine, happiness and other characteristics or aspects I want in a relationship is defined by one gender then and only then will I discuss my sexual preference.”

Hmmmm…. well girl, if this whole thing was you coming out, congratulations…..  If not, that’s cool too.  We’ll be here for you whenever you’re ready.  You, me, Raven Symone, and Earving Johnson III can all meet for coffee and discuss our gay riches.  (**WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M NOT INVITED?????**)

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Butch Eyeliner Makeup Tutorial With Julie and Brandy

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This video of GOAT contributors, Brandy Howard & Julie Goldman (via our sister friends at Autostraddle) is both informative and HILARIOUS.  Ms. Howard teaches our lesbros a thing or three about getting that perfect, ‘I’m a lady who likes lady parts’ smokey eye; while Queen Butch Goldman applies makeup in an adorably awkward manner. GIVE THEM GAG, JULIE!!!!

Hey Lesbians, Meet Your New Crush: Julia Monk

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Full disclosure: Julia Monk is my sister-in-law.  More full disclosure: She’s so brilliant, I’d still write about her if she wasn’t.

NYC born and raised Julia Monk’s new EP, “June Bug,” is the stuff lesbian hipster dreams are made of. Folky, indie, and angsty pop-rock; Miss Monk lets you and her exes HAVE IT on her lyrically and musically strong debut, available HERE on Band Camp for the low low price of “whatever.” G’head, lesbro.  G’head, sensitive homo.  Take a listen.  Tell her Pepper sent you…. (**”Pepper” is what we call each other sometimes…… ok, all the time…..**)

The Next Lesbian Superstar

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Ok, so Sharaya J is not billing herself as a Lesbian buuuuuuuut everything about her is extremely leztastic. From her soft butch attitude to the lesbian prison gang style video opening to her tight lil blue hair haircut and especially having Missy Elliot as her mentor (*Girlfriend?*) I’m getting an extreme bulldagga vibe from her. But as Dykey as she seems, like Missy, she talkin’ bout her man and yo’ man and man men man men men to let you know she’s straight as an arrow. She even takes the word Banji away from its gay ghetto roots and turns it into an acronym for “Being Authentic Never Jeopardizing Individuality” Mmmmmkay. But regardless of all that Sharaya J is ON FIRE! She’s like a sexy, sassy anime rapper with a delightful Missy Inspired flow and damn can she dance!! Lez or Not Lez I can’t wait to see what’s to come from dis biiiiitch!

WHOA DUDE! SHE’S COMING TO HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!

WHOA DUDE!

WE’VE REACHED OUR GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The tickets are booked, the dates are set, Linda James is headed to HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!

WHOA DUDE! IS HAPPENING!!!!!!

We of the Gay Pimpin’/Gayest of All Time family would like to take this moment to thank YOU for helping to make this project a reality.

It is our promise that your contribution will go toward only the gold standard of homoerotic comedy.

No m4m dick joke will be left untold. No lesbo titty laugh will be left behind.

BTQs, we got you too.

THANK YOU.

Thank you for choosing to fund independent gay entertainment.

(**Gay Millionaires: Feel free to keep donating to the cause.  Every dollar we earn goes to keep a cock and balls joke alive.**)