For The Children – Of The 80’s

Before real cable tv or even the internet, children actually had to sit in front of a tv and watch a show or MISS IT! It was hard work but some of the shows were worth the stress! I gathered a few intros. Enjoy!

Reading Rainbow

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Haters Gonna Hate

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In vintage news, TMZ is reporting that Paris Hilton signed a huge DJ contract for 2014 as a follow up to her (apparently successful) stint in Ibiza.

I’m indifferent to house music, and I’m not a big fan of Ibiza (mainly because it’s pronounced IbiTHA and I don’t like lisps), but I LOVE PARIS HILTON. I always have and I always will. Much like another tragic favorite of mine – Nicole ‘Snooki” Polizzi- Paris Hilton does whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and bitch GETS PAID. Despite having no discernible talents, horrible taste (in everything), and no real “fans” to speak of- these two women manage to ignore the chorus of constant criticism and jokes made about them- and persevere! Anyone who has let one negative comment on Facebook ruin their entire day (or week) should respect the fact that these bitches get hated on by millions of people. Every minute of the day. And yet, they stay true to who they are. They remain tragic, tacky jokes who sell their hair extensions and fake eyelashes to little girls in South America. And they laugh all the way to the bank.

That’s what confidence means to me. And that’s why I consider them role models.

Here’s me joining the senior citizen DJ train (for the record, Paris and I started at the same time. I did NOT copy her. I copied Jonny. The similar outfit and the guy pulling focus in the picture are just sheer coincidence).

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Sexoxoxo,

Brandy

Take A Lesson: Bette Midler

Sooooooo….. I did not watch the VMAs last night; but general internet chatter would lead me to believe that Miley hoed out big time on a Thicke dick and we love her for it (save for Rihanna and the Smith family),  Stefani was whatever, and Richard Simmons won the most Moon Man trophies even though he wasn’t nominated. Congratulations EVERYONE!

Now, let’s take it back.  Let’s take it back to a time when the hottest ticket in New York City wasn’t at the Barclay’s Center Arena. Let’s take it back to a time when the hottest venue in NYC was…. The Continental Bath House. Here’s Bette Midler making magic for a bunch of gay guys sitting around in terry cloth towels between blow jobs.  They sure don’t do it like this anymore…

 

Take A Lesson: Diana Ross

Now, THIS is how you TURN IT! I don’t know why you would have never seen this before, but just in case…. Here is the one and only, legendary, Miss Diana Ross giving the quintessential performance of a generation in Central Park, 1983. “It took me a lifetime to get here, and I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!!!!” Take a lesson, children.

Take A Lesson: La Lupe

Here is La Lupe, The Queen of Latin Soul, doing an American TV appearance in the 1970s.  If you’re looking for a good read this Sunday afternoon, might I suggest her Wikipedia page, IT HAS IT ALL! Fame, drugs, santería, political exile, injury, illness. Sit down, Jennifer Lopez, La Lupe from the block is the TRUEST of Latin DIVAS!

Know Your Legends: Miss Monica Munro

This clip of The Legendary Monica Munro TUUUUUUUUURNING it at the 1993 Miss Continental Pageant is worth ever single second of your attention from start to finish.  Watch as the trans Showgirl Icon pulls out every damn trick in the entire damn book, executing each one of them FLAWLESSLY!!!!!! Needless to say, she won. (**BOUQUET!**)

According to the comments attached to this video (**thanks homos**), as of three months ago, Miss Munro is living low key in Chicago, occasionally making “very rare appearances” at The Baton Show Lounge.

Monica, we salute you. You. Own. Everything…. Everything…. Is Yours….

 

Take a lesson, children….

Rich White Woman: Salt Glossary

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My mother-in-law is essentially Martha Stewart.  (**Thank you, God**)  She does all kinds of classy shit that blows my mind on the regular.   She has a salt collection, people…. A SALT COLLECTION!!!!! My heart skipped a beat and I clutched my pearls when I found out that little tid-bit.  I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a salt collection.

You can imagine my delight when I saw that The O.G., M.Stewart herself, posted this handy Salt Glossary to her Pinterest board this morning. Fuck. White people are crazy, huh?

444232113cf2e7b1fa41eda69b0cd94e via Martha Stewart