ORANGE IS THE NEW (WHACK)!

HI! Its me JULIE writing.

Sooooooo…Not to Lez it out too much but I need to vent my lesbionic rage here, and since we’re all family n shit….Where else would be better??!!   So, this new show ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK has been touted on all the Lez sites and everyone is going on and on and on and on about this damn show. I, of course wanted to rebel and not watch one second of it in some sort of –  I stand alone rebellion and don’t tell me what to do stubborn lezness – and more importantly – how could I not even get an audition for this !? ( hand to chest – mouth a gape)  I’m so insulted. but let’s put petty, jealousy aside 🙂

I gotta watch – I mean, everyone keeps saying theres all this hot lezaction and its women in PRISON for gods sake!  But I stayed away as long as I could and then broke down.  Brandy and I hunkered down to watch the entire series on netflix in one viewing with a bowl of salad, toll house cookies, and a vile of pills.  ( we thought we would review it for IN YOUR BOX OFFICE)  We took our negative energy, washed it down with a pain killer (s) and hunkered down, and you know what? I WAS FUCKING RIGHT! This show is a piece of fucking shit.  I AM so ANNOYED!  I’m still in such an annoyed state I couldnt articulate my thoughts clearly so I hijacked a review I found and want to thank you BRIGET for summing up all my feelings in this wonderfully crafted review which is 100 times better than the entire series and wish we could make the review into a new series.  ( I know I have bad grammar – deal with it) harumph.  stomp, stomp, stomp.  I am so disappointed and bummed out that the one thing with lesbians,  in it AGAIN is terrible. I could forgive every cliche, tired stereotype and shitty acting if any of it was FUNNY or DRAMATIC or STOOD FOR SOMETHING, except cliches, tired sterotypes and shitty acting.  stomp, stomp, stomp

 

 

 

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“This show commodifies lesbianism in the worst, most misogynistic ways– by using it as an “edgy” selling point to tip the show from drama to soap opera. It’s full of hackneyed tropes: until I leave all girls school lesbian (Lorna), fat butch lesbian (Big Boo), desirable waifish femme lesbian (Mercy, Lorna), couture European lesbian (Alex), the Stud (Nicky, Big Boo), and of course, Piper the hasbian who I guess just can’t be a bisexual because she fell in monogamous love with a man. (Even though who she’s with has NOTHING to do with whether she’s bisexual, but there’s the myth of the “hasbian” for you). As with the characters of color, these demographic tropes play a huge role in presumed pre-developed characters that settle into the issued stereotypes like a foundation, rather than defying them. Piper’s “former gayness” authenticates queerness for the straight population in the same way her whiteness does w/regard to POC criminalization. Piper is less of an “other” in mainstream America’s eyes & the show admits it, but then plays on it. The show commodifies POCs and queers and, it commodifies them in the SAME way, with the voyeuristic titillating spectacle of “lesbian sex” and hype of “black and latino violence”. With less packaging, you could see the same thing on “bum fights” or “girls gone wild”, both filmed and perpetuated for the entertainment of privileged, ignorant, straight white men. The show doesn’t really even attempt a simple role reversal where racial minorities are represented as queer and the white inmates are represented as violent– it’d still be a token effort, but nope, not even that. I watched this series trying to reconcile it, trying to decide whether I liked it or not because hey, a queer, woman and POC dominated cast, but in the end I realize that it’s *about* us, not *for* us.” ~Bridget

 

PS:

We trashed the idea of reviewing this for IYBO because it seems we are in the minority with our hatred and didnt want to waste our minty breathe and precious time.

WHOA DUDE! SHE’S COMING TO HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!

WHOA DUDE!

WE’VE REACHED OUR GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The tickets are booked, the dates are set, Linda James is headed to HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!

WHOA DUDE! IS HAPPENING!!!!!!

We of the Gay Pimpin’/Gayest of All Time family would like to take this moment to thank YOU for helping to make this project a reality.

It is our promise that your contribution will go toward only the gold standard of homoerotic comedy.

No m4m dick joke will be left untold. No lesbo titty laugh will be left behind.

BTQs, we got you too.

THANK YOU.

Thank you for choosing to fund independent gay entertainment.

(**Gay Millionaires: Feel free to keep donating to the cause.  Every dollar we earn goes to keep a cock and balls joke alive.**) 

WHOA DUDE! An Important Message from Julie Goldman

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Im proud to be a part of this fundraising effort for Jonny McGovern’s new show called WHOA DUDE! Help us raise enough money so we can make the internet’s ONLY homoerotic-comedy-clip show. We are gonna fly in LINDA JAMES, so she can write, and co star, and there will be segments with your fave podcast stars: America’s Lez treasure JULIE GOLDMAN, international Lez lurker, BRANDY HOWARD, king of the GO-Go Boys GRGY and starring the Gay Pimp Daddy himself JONNY MCGOVERN. Help us. Help you. Be Gayer.

Please click the link below to support the Gay Arts:

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/jonny-mcgovern-s-woah-dude-web-series

Help Make “Whoa, Dude!: The Webseries” A Reality!

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Haaaaaay Qween! It’s Jonny  here breaking into your regular Gayest Of All Time feed because i need your help to make my new internet clip show “Woah Dude”! It’s the Gay Pimp spin on The Soup but instead of clips of TV shows we feature the intentionally and unintentionally homoerotic video made by your favorite local frat boys, skaters, military jocks and naughty qweens that make you say “Woah Dude!”

The show is the brain child of myself and Gay Pimpin’ Podcast Legend and Gayest Of all Time Moderator Linda James and will be written by us along withthe  hilarious writing team of Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard, also contributors to this site,  who have written for E! network’s Fashion Police! But even a green screen show ain’t cheap! We need your help with the cost of the production of the 1st season and to fly Linda James to Los Angeles for the shoot!

We are really excited about this concept and think it has the potential to go far and create Jobs for yer fave broke bloggers from Gayest Of All Time! The show will also feature Jonny’s sexy gogoboys including Grg and some of Jonny’s fave drag queens including Linda James of course!

We wanna raise this money real quick and shoot it right away!

Help us make Season 1 of “Woah Dude” a reality. Check me out beggin’ fo’ cash (plus some Grgy sexiness) below and click here to support: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/jon…

It’s Britney, Bitch.

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Over the past week I’ve been doing a serious study of Britney Spears. This is what I’ve learned:

1.) Britney Spears feels things very deeply. Lacking both vocabulary skills and the tools to deal with her emotions, Britney only knows how to express herself with her body. (*I don’t know whose idea it was to make NBC her primary mental health provider and trot her out yearly for a public therapy session/interview/defense trial… but it was a bad one.)

2.) Justin Timberlake is a spiteful and emotionally abusive lover who still holds a grudge. (*fuck you dude) Fully aware that she isn’t smart enough or brave enough to defend herself, he has constructed his manhood on bringing her down. (*again, JT…. fuck you dude.)

3.) Lynn Spears loves money! (*so, so, so, so much)

4.) Jamie Lynne turned out alright after all (*don’t make a country album, jamie lynne. don’t do it. maybe act again on a TNT or Netflix original series. maybe.)

5.) Britney Spears = Bald Eagle. (*America, decline, endangerment, recovery.)

CLICK HERE for my 7 hour BRITNEY playlist….

(*I don’t know, you know……. this is my art I guess…..)

HUZZAH FOR BLOGGING!!!!

Gay Pimpin' with Jonny McGovern

Gay Pimpin’ with Jonny McGovern (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

AAAAAaaaaaaHHHHHHHhhhhhh!!!!! Welcome to THE GAYEST BLOG OF ALL TIME! (….time…..time….time….) The official blog of the Gay PImpin’ with Jonny McGovern family.  Let’s spill some T, let’s throw some Shade, and LET’S KEEP IT FAGGITY!!!!!!!!!!  HELLEAUX!