I know that he’s worked consistently since ranking second place in Mtv’s I Wanna Be a VJ contest, I vaguely even remember him coming out of the closet a few years back (**HOORAY!**), and I’m totally aware that he’s built quite a career for himself in the entertainment industry… I just… haven’t been paying attention I guess. **Big mistake. HUGE.- Dave Holmes to me**
Dave. You look good, Dave. Really good, Dave. “Host an entertainment news show on network TV” good, Dave. Whatever it is you’re doing… don’t stop. Contractually bind yourself to the fitness trainer, photographer, hairstylist, and lighting team that you’ve been working with to take these photos; hire a good “dermatologist” and freeze time now. THIS. IS. IT. FOR. YOU. You look rich, fit, smart, and handsome. In fact….. I would like to sleep with you, Dave Holmes. I didn’t expect to ever write those words in 2013, but here we are. I know that you’re in a relationship with Ben Wise and I’m totally cool with that…. He never- has- to know….. Say…. while we’re in Wanna Be a VJ land, let’s check in with the Twitter avatars of the three actual winners of yesteryear’s greatest televised casting call:
Twitter Followers: 0
Jesse Camp is not on Twitter. He’s keeping busy and he is not dead. That’s really all we can ask for. (I’ll save you the Google search. Here he is in 2013 at some event):
Twitter Followers: 12
Biiiiiiitch, that is a Viacom press kit picture from fourteen years ago AND YOU KNOW IT! Also, TWELVE FOLLOWERS?!?!?! Even if you’re some sort of Catfish Advert Robot you should have more than twelve followers, am I right???
Thalia is working behind the scenes or something. I don’t care, I never liked her.
Twitter Followers: 126
I have no memory of this man AT ALL. **Sorry, bro.**
Ray is apparently a DJ though, and he holds the distinction of being Mtv’s first ever half Korean VJ, so there’s that…
Nowadays he spends his time rescuing dogs. **AAAAWWWWWW! Cute….**
BUT HIS TWITTER AVATAR IS STILL NOT AS GOOD AS DAVE HOLMES!!!!!
Twitter Followers: 43,673
DAVE HOLMES WINS EVERYTHING!!!!!!